Who Are YOU When I'm Not Looking??????

As most of you know, this is my new favorite song! 

Whenever I get in my Mustang, the top is down and good ol' Blake Shelton is jamming on my stereo! 

I literally listen to this song over and over the entire time I am in my car, as long as I am by myself of course, which is most of the time.

After listening to this song the first couple times, I got to thinking....

WHO AM I?  Who am I when no one's looking?

Does anyone REALLY know me? 

I think the only person in my life that really KNOWS me, or the most about me is my sister.  Not my parents, not my husband, not many people, and probably not even my sister, but she knows me the best.

I'm not even sure if I really know me!

As most of you know....i've been re-typing a life coaching manual for my sister, and I have learned so much, not only about how to help others, but about myself and MY life!

I have learned that I DON'T know who I am, what I want, what makes me happy, and if I am where I am suppose to be.

I have learned that I haven't actually "LIVED," i've just "existed".

There have only been a few times in my life that I have done something for myself, to make ME happy.

I've always been too busy doing things for other people or to make other people happy, even if it meant I was unhappy or even miserable by doing these things.

I've always been a "people pleaser", to make sure that things stayed on an even keel, to make sure that "for the sake of argument" ~ I never said what I was truly feeling, to not say the wrong thing ~ to just keep "peace".

But by doing those things, all I did was make myself unhappy, miserable, regretful, hateful, frustrated and even angry.

Who's fault is it......my own!

It's my own fault that I didn't speak my mind, it's my own fault that I didn't stand up for myself or for what I believe in.

It's my own fault that I wasn't being ME!

And now that i've learned a little bit about ME, it's going to be hard for others to accept the ME i've always been, but have never shown.

It's going to be hard for them to understand where "this" person came from.

It's going to be hard for them to accept the "new" me.

It's going to be hard for them, me and the relationships that I have with people. 

And what i'm afraid of the most I guess, is that I will lose those relationships because they will not understand, because they will not TRY to understand, because they are used to the "old" catering me.

I'm afraid that they will not even try to work through the changes.

The changes that I am making with myself, and the changes that need to take place in order for me to be happy, for me to feel alive, and for me to want to stay a part in the relationships.

I guess that's why so many people DON'T make changes, why so many people are afraid to show the "real" person they are.

Because it's easier to keep things as they are in order to maintain "peace" in the relationships.

But all the while, they have a war going on inside them, a raging war where they are tearing themselves apart, and killing their own spirit.

Spirits are meant to live, to be heard, to shine!

If we don't let our spirits shine, we become a hollow person, an empty body that just takes up space.

Why do we allow ourselves to get this way?

Why do we put on an "act" when we around people?

Why can't we be ourselves?

Why can't we show who we really are?

The real us?

Who are you, when no one's looking?

Who are you, when you are by yourself?

Who are you?

Take some time and REALLY think about this.

Are you happy with the you that you are?

Are you happy with the you that people see?

Are you happy with the life you lead?

Are you happy?

If you are not truly, 100% happy.....why  not?

Don't we all have that right ~ the right to be happy?

I'm not talking about...."oh I'm happy with the way things are."

Or "things are good," or "i'm content."

Why settle for things that are just "OK?"

Why settle for things that "are working?"

Why settle at all?

I think that is what is wrong with a lot of relationships....

people tolerate things, people deal with things, and most of all...

people settle for things, and they DON'T have to!

Who ever said that we "HAVE TO SETTLE?"

If we are not happy, totally 100% happy....why settle?

It is not being selfish to want to be 100% happy, it is not impossible to be 100% happy.

All you have to do is BELIEVE it, to WANT it and to DO it!

So I ask again.....

WHO ARE YOU WHEN NO ONE'S LOOKING?